I love how in life, if we want to, we never stop learning so many new things. I love learning. I read and listen to professional webinars and audible books and podcasts, and talk to clients who teach me so much too. In the last couple of years as a therapist, I have learned a great deal from my men clients. In my practice about 70% of the folks that come are women, and about 30% are men.
I know and understand the journey of women quite well, not just from reading and listening, but from being one and learning by experience. The men I have seen have given me such a gift through seeing their plight, heart, and their dreams. I love and respect men so much more now then ever before. Perhaps had I had a brother I would have known more, but I came from a home of girls, so there you have it. Today I am a wife of 22 years to one really great man and a mother to more than one future man, so learning and understanding men has become much more relevant to me and quite delightful too.
Women struggle to understand men, and men struggle to make women happy and understand them too. So ladies, here is what I have learned. Men simply want to be loved and respected by us. They naturally, on an inborn level, want to protect, and provide for their lady. They go out and conquer the world at work to bring home resources for the purpose of making a good safe home for their woman and family. They are on your side, and they want you to be happy, and they want to know they made you happy. Men want to be loved, respected and acknowledged.
Marianne Williamson says a mans greatest psychic need is for his thoughts to be respected, and a women’s greatest psychic need is for her feelings to be honored. I agree. Masculine energy and feminine energy need to be understood, respected and honored. Masculine energy sees, thinks, fixes, rescues, problem solves, and strategizes about the most effective way to get this or that done. They get things done well because masculine energy is also single focused allowing them to finish what they start.
Feminine energy feels. We feel, we perceive, we notice multiple stimuli simultaneously, we sense the feelings of others, and are naturally inclined to respond to all of it, and we try to simultaneously. Women have diffuse focus, not singular focus. We can’t tune things out, like our men can. (Don’t let that upset you, wait for him to finish what he’s doing and ask him to switch his singular focus to you when you want him to hear you).
Author Pat Allen says this all comes from our biological mammalian nature for the survival of our species. It’s the old hunter and gatherer, joined with the nurturer who tends to the new little human mammals.
In our modern world, we have done great evolving. Women embodying our masculinity to step into the world, make things happen and conquer obstacles and barriers on our way. Men have been embracing more of their feminine side, getting in touch with their feelings, loving and nurturing their children and their woman more sensitively. The science states that heterosexual women tend to be 80% feminine and 20% masculine. And that heterosexual men tend to be 80% masculine and 20% feminine.
The thought leaders of today are now encouraging us women to embody our feminine nature more fully. Marianne Williamson has a great online course “The Aphrodite training” which I highly recommend. She teaches us ladies to become vulnerable again. Allow our men to care for us, and stop disrespecting and critiquing their thoughts. When we criticize them, we demasculinize them and lose our sexual polarity. Lack of this sexual polarity and thus sexual intimacy is no fun for them or us. We don’t want a roommate. We want a lover too.
Many of us women want our man to be strong and be a protector for us. Maybe we don’t realize this, but if you find yourself being annoyed a lot with your man and feeling like you are doing everything, and exhausted, then you may have stopped being vulnerable and letting him provide for you. You may have corrected and criticized so much he lost his inclination to keep trying, instead getting quiet and disappearing, to avoid being chopped down any further.
Marianne explains it well, we can learn to once again inhabit our Aphrodite Goddess nature, our feminine essence and surrender into loving with our man. It makes us and them a lot more happy. And they often honor our emotional nature as a result. Women’s moods and emotions change frequently and men hang in there and try to nurture us, while confused by us, and seem to frequently try so hard to make us happy. That’s what I hear a lot when I talk to men. “I try so hard to make her happy, and nothing seems to work.” They feel defeated, like a failure, lose their confidence, and give up.
Let’s love our men, let’s deeply respect their thoughts, give them our appreciation and delight in what naturally flows from this recipe: a strong, confident, loving, devoted man successful in his work in the world, and making beautiful love with his lady at home❤